Some stuff
I found out on Tuesday? that my insurance had denied the request for genetic testing. They said I wasn't fitting their criteria of 1st or second generational cancer. I immediately called my risk manager and she said that she was going to get Dr. Karp on it. I know once he gets things, he is like a dog with a tug toy so if anyone could do it he could.
In the meantime yesterday I basically broke down and have not sprung very far up. The stress of everything going on around me is way too much for me to handle. When I mentioned that Doug ask his parents to come up it invoked a holy hell of screaming at me - and he said he wasn't resentful of me. I had to hear about money and timing and lists and doing his "real" job and all other stuff. Then he said that he was going to have to travel for a week and that he was going to ask his parents to come up then. To me that doesn't make any sense. He didn't even tell me what week this was going to be! I told him to sell the freakin house and that I wished I would have to be admitted to the hospital. I still do, kinda. I have a huge upper lip because my lips stuck together Wednesday night and when I opened my mouth Thursday morning, all the skin from the top middle of my lip came off. This morning it was so big I had to make an appointment with my doctor. She doesn't think it is an infection but I do have an ear infection so we are treating that with Amoxicillin.
As soon as I walked int the door from my doctor, Dr. Karp called to say that he had a little talk with the Tufts guy. Basically the Tufts guy read the form incorrectly. What a dim bulb. so mow we wait for the new letter stating that the test will be paid for and then line me up for another blood sample. The results take about a month but then I will know more about what surgery (s) to do.
I am getting tired and weary of this. It seems that everyone and everything would be better off without me. I am getting in the way too much of progress or something. I just hate it.
In the meantime yesterday I basically broke down and have not sprung very far up. The stress of everything going on around me is way too much for me to handle. When I mentioned that Doug ask his parents to come up it invoked a holy hell of screaming at me - and he said he wasn't resentful of me. I had to hear about money and timing and lists and doing his "real" job and all other stuff. Then he said that he was going to have to travel for a week and that he was going to ask his parents to come up then. To me that doesn't make any sense. He didn't even tell me what week this was going to be! I told him to sell the freakin house and that I wished I would have to be admitted to the hospital. I still do, kinda. I have a huge upper lip because my lips stuck together Wednesday night and when I opened my mouth Thursday morning, all the skin from the top middle of my lip came off. This morning it was so big I had to make an appointment with my doctor. She doesn't think it is an infection but I do have an ear infection so we are treating that with Amoxicillin.
As soon as I walked int the door from my doctor, Dr. Karp called to say that he had a little talk with the Tufts guy. Basically the Tufts guy read the form incorrectly. What a dim bulb. so mow we wait for the new letter stating that the test will be paid for and then line me up for another blood sample. The results take about a month but then I will know more about what surgery (s) to do.
I am getting tired and weary of this. It seems that everyone and everything would be better off without me. I am getting in the way too much of progress or something. I just hate it.
posted by Kimberly O @ 4:36 PM
1 Comments:
At 11:38 AM,
In His Steps said…
I don't want to sound preachy Kimberly because I don't know where you are spiritually but I really feel led to share a verse with you:
"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me. I will be found by you," says the LORD. "I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and bring you home again to your own land" Jeremiah 29:11-14
I don't know what you are feeling because I have not been in your shoes. I have felt alone and misunderstood. These are the times when I only have God to hold on to. I have only been able to get through some days because I know that He loves me unconditionally. I will be praying for you Kimberly to find comfort and peace and feel His love for you.
Kim
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