Email from Cousin
I received this email from my cousin Trisha. Would like to know what people think:
Kimberly,
Wow, I don't know who I am talking to anymore. No one is or was chastising you, however, we are all pretty upset that we were the last to know. But that's your choice. Mom was and still is pretty upset because she wanted to be there for you. If that is a bad thing...well, then, we're sorry. And your right...it is all about you. That is all I heard from your blog. At this point in time I do not wish to post comments in some blog for everyone to read. While your friends and family have had time to realize the severity of your situation, it still has not set well with us yet. We think it sucks. It's unfair. And I know from my experience with breast surgery alone how uncomforable and miserable you can feel. But as you said...it's your trip... you take it.
Aunt Pat just figures that the whole Menard family is dysfunctional. Only a handful of us can admit to it and are working through it. I have chosen to take on the last name again, but not to become a "typical" Menard. I am not speaking for my mother right now when I say that if you want to take this trip without me...take it. I am too tired of being a part of a "family" like this. Christ, we barely know each other anymore. I am "creating" a family. I have friends and some distant relatives who have stood by me through it all, that's all I need.
But before I go...I have one thing to say. I grew up in your shadow. I am over it...BUT, I always thought that you were smarter than this. It is NOT all about YOU. It is also about MEG, JULES, and DOUG. So while it might be your trip...they are along for the ride. Weather or not you like, or they like it. This is a very serious situation that God forbid could end up bad. Will it be all about you then? "Nuff said." And yes...I did just chastise you. Do what you need need too do...I am just going to stay away. It works better that way. Take care...tell Doug and the kids we love them...
Love,
Trisha
Kimberly,
Wow, I don't know who I am talking to anymore. No one is or was chastising you, however, we are all pretty upset that we were the last to know. But that's your choice. Mom was and still is pretty upset because she wanted to be there for you. If that is a bad thing...well, then, we're sorry. And your right...it is all about you. That is all I heard from your blog. At this point in time I do not wish to post comments in some blog for everyone to read. While your friends and family have had time to realize the severity of your situation, it still has not set well with us yet. We think it sucks. It's unfair. And I know from my experience with breast surgery alone how uncomforable and miserable you can feel. But as you said...it's your trip... you take it.
Aunt Pat just figures that the whole Menard family is dysfunctional. Only a handful of us can admit to it and are working through it. I have chosen to take on the last name again, but not to become a "typical" Menard. I am not speaking for my mother right now when I say that if you want to take this trip without me...take it. I am too tired of being a part of a "family" like this. Christ, we barely know each other anymore. I am "creating" a family. I have friends and some distant relatives who have stood by me through it all, that's all I need.
But before I go...I have one thing to say. I grew up in your shadow. I am over it...BUT, I always thought that you were smarter than this. It is NOT all about YOU. It is also about MEG, JULES, and DOUG. So while it might be your trip...they are along for the ride. Weather or not you like, or they like it. This is a very serious situation that God forbid could end up bad. Will it be all about you then? "Nuff said." And yes...I did just chastise you. Do what you need need too do...I am just going to stay away. It works better that way. Take care...tell Doug and the kids we love them...
Love,
Trisha
posted by Kimberly O @ 6:06 AM
3 Comments:
At 10:05 AM,
Aldon Hynes said…
Kimberly,
I'm not sure I know who I am talking to anymore either. I don't know what it is like to have cancer, to have hair fall out, to feel sick from chemo and to have little energy. I don't know what it like to feel sick, scared and loney, or even if that is what you are really feeling.
However, I do know that you are a dear friend that I want to do whatever I can to help through this difficult time.
I do fear that I will not be a good enough friend to you. I will try to help however I can, but sometimes I will fail. I do fear that times will come when I don't have the energy to help the way I should and you and I will need to find other people to provide strength to you.
I do expect that I will have to try to provide strength not only for you, but also for Kim, Doug, Meaghanne, Julianna, Chris, Eileen and others that I don't even know, perhaps even Trisha.
So, I will do what I can do and hope that others will as well.
Aldon
At 2:38 PM,
Fran said…
Personally, I think your cousin is extremely rude! She speaks of wanting to "be there for you", well if this is the way she shows support--you don't need it! You do have the right to feel badly and rest in front of the TV for a day or two. The doctors are filling you basically with poison--how are you supposed to feel? I have struggled also with some of my family wanting to make my breast cancer "their" issue. It is your trip and yes your husband and family are along for the ride, but they aren't experiencing what you are. I have found many people want to take on my breast cancer as there "cross to bear". You know what, Christ put this cross on me to bear. Yes everyone is affected by your cancer, but it is your journey that you have to find peace with. I've had several family members shave their hair off in support of mine falling out. It seems like a sweet idea, but they're family that live across the country that I won't even see. How is that being done "for me"? It's just a way for them to feel connected I guess, but comes across as self-serving to me. I don't know maybe that's harse. Anyway, I've rambled on long enough. My advice, don't take her hateful email to heart. Cut her loose and keep those that truly love you and support you around.
In Him,
Fran
At 6:56 PM,
In His Steps said…
This is probably a time in your life that you need to have people around you to support you. This isn't a time that you have energy to put into "fixing" relationships or dealing with others moods. You need all of your energy now to fight the cancer.
Again, I don't know how you or Fran are feeling but I do know that there are no "right" or "wrong" ways for you to feel. I have observed many people deal with their illness and there are no two alike. Often when I make a nursing visit, it will many times end up being a time for the person to "vent" their feelings. I am just a listening ear. Those are the people you need around you, listeners, not judges.
Post a Comment
<< Home