No Hair

This weekend was very bad. I ended up cutting/shaving my hair off yesterday late afternoon. I just couldn't deal with the pain and shedding. So now I have fuzz and a very white scalp. The main thing is that I am still feeling tired, heavy of breath and push to the curb, so to speak. At one point yesterday, Doug had piled folded laundry on half of the bed so I really felt like I should just roll off into the corner and go away. I feel like I am this big piece of meat that is just in the way and the more it gets covered up or moved to the side, the less it will disturb things. I have ruined everything and made incorrect decisions on the houses, what I eat, it doesn't matter. I have it pointed out to me very clearly. Nothing can go forward with me like this. There is no way we will move any time soon, etc, etc. I have finally got something sent to HH for Meaghanne from Santa but still nothing for Jules. No matter what, I have to get that done today.