A bit of a rant. But before I say so, I have received emails recently from Karin and Clare and a post by Chrissy and I love them! Please keep them coming even if I don't respond right away!

I hate having no control of my life! I cannot plan things, I cannot even know for sure if I have a future! My hands are a dry peeling, cracking mess and my face is not worth getting the mirror out for! Now I have to wait for the genetic tests to come back before I can even discuss surgery options. If everything goes well, I will have those test results before my last chemo. But it is difficult because of all the freakin privacy laws and they have to make an appointment with the risk counselor to give them to you and counsel you on them! I don't want counseling, I want my answer. Negative - great! Only really have to look at the difference between a lumpectomy and a mastectomy. Positive - I am looking at double mastectomy and removal of my ovaries. Not that I want them anymore but it becomes a much more major surgery (s) with longer recovery time, etc, etc. I am not taking the best care of myself and money is so scarce because we are carrying two mortgages and two equity loans. Until the house sells, I can't even think about doing anything for myself! At least I am going to NYC next weekend for my sister's baby shower and the Westminster Dog show. That will be fun and a bit of a break from my life.

Blah!