It's been too long

Happy Thanksgiving! I am two weeks post op on my DIEP at Beth Israel and Everything is going fabulously! I was able to move the surgery up and so, I did it. This is not an easy surgery for either surgical staff or patient. I went in on November 8 really excited to get this reconstruction thing started so that I may be near perfect for summer 2007. I met with both my surgeon and his fellow as well as all the other people who are involved and they all made me feel so fabulous. Dr. Lee said it would be a seven to nine hour surgery. They started at 9:45am during which time Doug paced the floors and walked around the Longwood section of Boston for a while. When he received a call at 5:0opm, he jumped a bit but they were telling him that I was out of surgery in the recovery room already! I of course was on another planet. I had very bad nausea but they shot something into my IV and that passed quickly. Doug came to say hello and goodbye as he had to get back to the kids. My new breast was the size of a watermelon and they had to check the blood flow every ten minutes for the first few hours. It eventually went down to every 1/3 hour but, besides being able to have a TV brought in and watching Dancing with the Stars, I had a very sleepless night.

I will write more details but the bottom line is, I was cut in half, harvested of fat and blood vessels that were transplanted into my chest. It really is a miracle. But I can't imagine anyone choosing to get a tummy tuck or breast augmentation unless it was medically necessary.

More to come after Thanksgiving!

Much Love.

Away for So Long

Hey, sorry I haven't posted in a while. I tried to take the rest of the summer off but to no avail. My radiation grime is gone. The break worked really well. Have applied to be in the SOFT trial but don't know if I have even been randomized yet. Will know more tomorrow. This summer, though very hard, has been pretty ok. Still haven't sold the house. But I think I got us a renter from Florida. Again, more tomorrow.

So, I will write more tomorrow!

My Radiation

Right now I have been changed to the other type of radiation called the boost. My underarm was starting to weep and the lower part of the field was starting to split as well. So, this is for six times and takes about 30 seconds. The only radiate the scar from the surgery. It is a stronger does having to do with something that I can't remember. However, I will be finished on Wednesday of next week, then I have vacation, then I come back to five more of the full field radiation. We are hoping that I will heal with this.

Going to the Cape this weekend for the bio-mom family reunion as well as to finally see Doug's parents. A little down time will be great so I don't mind that it is supposed to be cool.

Love

Thank you all so much for such a generous and thoughtful gift! I love llamas and I love the fact that people in need will be reaping their benefits! I couldn't have asked for anything more full of love.

To: Kimberly O'Flaherty
From: All of us

A gift of 17 Llama "shares" has been given
in honor of your strength, courage and absolute beauty.
Some friends from our Bard days have gathered together to purchase in your name "shares" of Llamas which are donated to people who need them. It is a gift which is renewed again & again when the recipients share with their neighbors all that the Llamas produce. You love Llamas and we love you! Along with all our thoughts & strength vibes we honor you with 17 shares. (which equals 2 whole Llamas and 2 shares of a 3rd) With love from---- Karin Eckert & Matt Ames, Scarlett & David Newhoff, Clare Blackmer & Brien Lang, Christopher Pennington, Cormac Flynn & Dorothy Cummings, Christopher Marino, Sandra Aistars, Peter Criswell, Chad Kleitsch, Paula McGonagle
Heifer International is a nonprofit that alleviates hunger, poverty, and environmental degradation through gifts of food and income producing farm animals and training. These animals provide a source of protein, such as eggs and milk, for children and generate income for families through the sale of animal products. Since 1944 Heifer has helped over 4 million families in 125 countries become self-reliant. Each family "passes on the gift" by giving one or more of its animal's offspring to another family in need.
To learn more about the gift you've been given, visit http://catalog.heifer.org/gifts/.

Burn

Well, my skin under my arm has "separated" (the official term). As far as I am concerned, it has split. The have changed the location of the and size of the "bolis" - the skin-like pad that they lay over me to make the radiation come closer to the top of the skin - so it no longer includes my underarm. Dr. Girsh is a little bit worried that I will have to take some time off. For me, it's no biggie as long as I am off for the first week in July and she said that is already set in stone. I have to get as much air under my arm as possible. This means sitting with my arm stretch over my head actually opening the split in order for it to get as much air as possible. I also have to use the Silvadene cream three times a day. So, it really is a good thing that I am taking this summer off from work. I will set up a lounge chair outside in the shade so that I can read while "airing out". It really looks more painful than I can feel since it is still somewhat numb under there but, as I said to Doug, I have learned that every day has pain in some sense during this time. You just get used to it. Sometimes, I still feel as though I am living in a dream or nightmare and that when I wake up, I will be me again. Right now, I have to look forward to next summer when I will once again have symmetry, cleavage, and red hair, dammit!

Reconstruction Options, etc

I met with Dr. Bernie Lee at Beth Israel yesterday. He is the second plastic surgeon I have met with (the other being at Lahey). I have an appointment next week to meet with another surgeon from Beth Israel. Both of these do the DIEP type of reconstruction. I thought I would post the different options for reconstruction and some of the positives and negatives for each.

The first is a breast implant. Because of my radiation and positive nodes at he beginning, this is not a very good option. Plus, the implants never look like the other breast and since I don't want to touch the other one right now, it is out.

The second is Tram Flap which uses your own tissue. A large portion of muscle, some fat and skin are all tunneled underneath your chest and the beast is made at the location. No blood supplies are cut but there is a full lose of that one side of your "six-pack" muscles. The other side of the muscle can come back to 110% but most people will have muscle weakness, some back pain from the loss of stomach muscle, etc. This is the most popular method since, it is a relatively easy and short surgery. I wanted more options.

The Free Flap is like above but the muscle, tissue and skin are actually cut out and then replaced at the site of the breast. However, there is still a small portion of the muscle excised completely and it does still effect movement and strength as above. The reason muscle is still taken is the fact that it holds the blood supply to be reconnected at the breast site. Again, easier to harvest muscle with the blood supply already in it.

There is also a method using muscle from your back again tunneling beneath the skin to the front. Since my right arm has already been compromised from the removal of the nodes, this is certainly not my first choice. And then there is the butt one! Like a free flap but using your butt! Again, not the first choice.

The procedure that I have sought out is called DIEP. This procedure using our stomach area fat and tissue, and harvests a blood supply from the muscles but the muscles are never cut "across the grain" nor removed. The muscle is separated with the grain to get the blood supply and then everything is transplanted to the breast and reconnected to one of three main veins in the area (under-arm, mid-line chest, or in between). Because there is no muscle cut, the recovery in both the long and short run is much easier and shorter. The surgery itself is longer because of the use of micro-surgery both when extracting the tiny arteries from he muscle as well as reconnecting them. Instead of 4 - 5 hours from Tram flap, I am looking at 5 - 9 hours of surgery. I would be kept in the recovery room for 24 hours in order to monitor the blood flow at the newly connected site. The percentage of there being a problem is very small. If there were a problem within those 24 hours, I would be brought back to surgery and the problem would be resolved. Most are a tiny kink in the artery or something like that.

There is another part of this surgery that could be done as well. In 15% of the cases, there is an exposed small artery above the muscle. In that case, that one is used and there is no touching the muscle at all!

Either way, I am looking at a fabulous tummy tuck, a very natural breast, a much shorter recovery, and much fewer side effects. I would spend up to 7 days in the hospital. I would have to return in about a month for "shaping" because it is very important for my surgeon that I have the best possible match. There is alot of other information on this at www.bostondiep.com. Please have a look.

So, as of now, I have a surgery date in Boston at Beth Israel on February 7, 2007. I am not sure whether I am going to bother meeting with the other surgeon next week because I really loved Dr. Lee. His enthusiasm, his knowledge and training, his constant contact with the other few surgeons who do this, as well as his general nice-ness has really got me excited for the procedure and what I will look like afterward!

As for my status right now, I am a very burned little chickie. Especially under my arm. I have been changed over to 1% hydrocortisone and will probably be given an even stronger prescription called Silvadene for the remainder. Wearing a bra is many times quite painful so I only do it when I need to. I have really no problems with my lopsided look when just around my family and my radiation buddies. My two therapists Frank and Chris are always looking out for me and they were concerned about my burns yesterday. It is neat seeing two people every day and we have got to know each other pretty well. Chris is actually one year older than me and from Amherst so we have lots to talk about. He actually just adopted a dog from the same place we adopt: Nevins Farm MSPCA. I am so looking forward to seeing a picture on Monday.

Also, we had a brokers' open house on Thursday and had 21 agents come! I know it is because they had lunch there! Anyways, another open house tomorrow so I am really hopeful that between 21 brokers, we will have an offer soon.

This is a recent picture taken by Julianna. I even have my fake boob on! Can you tell which one it is? 

Radiation

I had my ninth radiation treatment today. I have started to get a little sunburned but nothing too overwhelming. I have hit a down patch right now. I am finding it very hard to look at myself and see much of what was me left. I have always been a redhead and now I am not. They say that once the cells are fully restored that my hair should come in red again but now it can't decide whether it is blond or brown. My pubic hair is definitely brown, dammit!I can't wear my tank tops as I used to in the hot weather without the worry of my boob falling over the top when I lean forward. the bra's that the boob fits into with a pocket are big and bulky and although they work in a t-shirt, anything with straps thinner than two inches doesn't work. Oh yes, everyone is showing their bra straps now but it isn't the same!

I guess that is enough ranting for now. It still sucks though! Thanks for all the comments about the pictures.

 

 

 

 

Radiation

Well, I got my tattoos for my radiation therapy which will start on Thursday. I have been advised vigorously by everyone I have talked to that this is the best way to be as sure as possible that there will not be a local recurrence. Dr. Girsh wants me to wait six months before my reconstruction - as I expected. I meet with the Lahey reconstrutor on Thursday and then the ones at Brigham and Women's in June. We'll See. At least Dr. Girsh said that even if I am not finished, she is giving me the first week of July off to be on the Cape! I am still in some pain but it is mostly the pressure from the swelling under my arm that is the problem. And I can't reach directly above my head. But I guess that will come in time. Still not feeling very good about my appearance. But again, it is that swelling under my arm that makes me look like an old lady.

I am going on another cruise. My sister in law and I are leaving Friday out of Boston for two nights at sea on the new Freedom of the SEas. It will be a nice diversion.

I am going to post some pix from our California trip her soon. I think the pictures will tell much more than my writings.

On Mother's Day, my mom wrote a very nice toast about celebrating the beginning of my new life. It was very sweet but I am still right in the middle of this speed bump. More treatments, the reconstruction, and the first year of being "out" of the cancer game with that threat always hanging over my head. I will never be the same as I was pre-cancer. I will always be looking for the next lump or something to show up somewhere. However, I am stronger for the journey so far and really have changed. I am as likely to tell you what you want to hear but what I feel is the truth. I am looking at being a part time worker very differently as my kids are growing and getting more involved in activities. I want to share the wonders of the world with them now and not worry so much about paying for college, etc. Doug hates that thought. But I will also be taking care of me more. I will not feel guilty about taking time to get a facial or some such thing. I will sign back up for a yoga class once my treatments are over and I will continue to believe in the power of meditation and breathing now and later. Once this flooding rain stops, I will go out and do more gardening - as much as I can. I saw the sun for the first time in days for about 1 minute today! This weather is not helping me, you know.

Anyways, here come some pictures soon.