My trip with breast cancer: April 2006

A little out of time

I am home, but it is not easy for me to Type. I stayed in hospital for two nights since we were having some trouble getting me off the morphine and onto Percoset with good results. I am mildly allergic to each, I have found out - makes me itch!

My home health aide came today and helped me take off the bandages and take a shower.

I am a pro already at emptying my drains and have not had any breakdowns about the breast not being there. The node dissection seems to be giving me the most pain. My upper arm on the inside is numb as is from above the cut to my clavicle and across to my shoulder. Since this is not permanent numbness, it either hurts or doesn't. Strange things those nerves are.

I am not sure how I am going to progress, especially since there is nothing I can do until the pathology comes back as far as next steps.

I am going to call my oncologist and ask about hormone therapy. I hope to have an appointment soon with Dr. Girshovich sometime after May 8th when I get the drains removed.

More California and breast talk soon.

Vacation

Well, our vacation was a rousing success. We all ended up flying together since Doug had a change of plan, which was great. We got in last Thursday around 6pm. We checked into the Marriott Coronado and, of course, wanted Mexican food! They suggested a little place named Miguel's Cucina that was just perfect. Yummy! The next morning Doug had meetings so the kids and I had a nice breakfast in the hotel and then we went to the pool. We had a room over-looking the bay directly into downtown San Diego and that is the view from the pool as well. Lots of boats to watch. After a downpour, the girls and I took the Marriott's water taxi over to the Marriott San Diego and went to a little place right on the water called Point Village. Lots of stores and little places to sit. And many ducks and their ducklings! It was amazing how many we saw! Doug met us there in time to go on a Seal Tour (the same as a Duck Tour here in Boston - an amphibious vehicle that tours the water front and then plunges into the bay) but they cancelled it because more rain was coming in. So we drove up to San Diego's Old Town which is where the original settlement happened. There are museums and nice places to eat. We were serenaded my a mariachi band while sipping margaritas and enjoying chips and salsa. We ended the night back in the hotel with dinner in the hotel lounge. Julianna wanted to play billiards but we were all very tired! The hotel is really a very nice place. When we went back tot he room, there was a message about a hotel across the bay that was being imploded Saturday morning at 8am and we shouldn't worry if we hear many explosions or see black dust. Thank You! We got up the next morning in time to see the demolition of the old San Diego Hotel. Although it was pouring rain, we were able to hear the explosions along with many other guests of the hotel as well as see some dust rising. We ran inside and caught the replay. A very exciting thing we had no idea we were going to see!

Since it was still raining, we went to Orange Street (the main restaurant street in Coronado) and found a diner The Night and Day Cafe that had been there since the 1920's. With only 13 stools at the counter, loud music and an ancient hood over the grill, it was exactly what we needed. Great breakfast cheap! It is open 24 hours and has sooo much atmosphere! Once the rains ended we drove to the San Diego zoo. What a gorgeous park! Really worth the trip no matter what your age. We travelled by foot, aerial tram, express bus and we took the guided tour at the end of the day after walking quite a bit! That evening we were invited to one of Doug's client's home in the hills overlooking La Jolla and all of downtown and the bay. A modern home with a view to kill for, Pam and Richard were great hosts as were their standard poodle George and ancient German Shepherd April.

Will write more later.

Conversations

I had a great conversation with my friend Eileen the other night. I spoke about this over-powering need for me to go somewhere where I can be topless on a beach before I don't have my real breast anymore.

That lead into much laughter about how I can do that now just by flashing people as I used to do in college! We also decided that since boob prosthesis that you stick into your bra or whatever are very expensive and we should introduce "boob in a box" for those of us on a budget. The first purchase would be a perfectly shaped bag of peas to be frozen and used directly after surgery for the pain AND to look great. Then, we would form a boob out of rice or beans or maybe even pasta, with a nipple in the correct place. We could do this all mail order and charge just enough to keep us in money for several vacations and wine. We could probably get all the supplies free because it is for a good cause - many bags of frozen peas and the rest of the food stuffs (ha ha - stuffs!) could be donated by, like, Green Giant or something. Then we could get cast off hosiery for the outside to match peoples normal skin color!

Now if someone takes this idea from this blog and does something, you better cut us in because I will hunt you down and throttle you! Or cut something off!

Laughter is good. Especially belly laughs! Thanks, Eileen!

About me

Well, I promised an update on "feelings". I am having some good days and some miserable ones. Have begun counting down the days to surgery. It is kinda sick and twisted. I can only compare it to someone having an amputation. I know I will have the reconstruction but it won't be the same. I am feeling a little bit insane and a little neglected frankly. I do think that people have no idea what to say. I say, actions speak louder than words. But I don't know what those actions should be. I would really like it if my friends would come visit me. I don't feel like working. Good thing I don't have to much. Then I will be off from April 13 - May 1 so no biggie there. I really wish I could go somewhere where topless is the norm before surgery, you know?And then there's planning for radiation - every day! Elisabeth is coming for a couple of days this week.

I need to start planning for this summer - I need to talk to Uncle Tom and Aunt Ellen about quahog fest 2006! I still can't believe that my 40th birthday will be pre-, during, or recovering from reconstruction. I still want to go somewhere wonderful with as many people as possible.

Just rambling now.